♪
- No. No, I'm at my fiancee's house right now.
Have him call me at my apartment tonight.
Uh-huh.
Okay, well, then we'll have to postpone
until halpern has documentation
to justify these corporate deductions.
Exactly.
And, Carla, make sure you bill them for this phone call.
- I am all packed.
- We'll go as soon as Peter's off his call.
- Yeah, okay, look, I'm gonna be in the office
in about an hour. We'll deal with this then.
Okay. - Awesome!
I'm gonna go get my suitcase. Vegas, baby!
- Vegas, baby. - [Sighs]
See, I just-- i don't understand
why you go to Vegas, of all places.
Jordan, you could have
a perfectly awesome bachelorette party right here in town.
- I'm the first one to get married,
and the girls want to send me off right.
- Yeah, I'll bet they do.
Listen... [Sighs]
You're not going to drink, are you?
- Do I ever?
Peter, this is me we're talking about here--
boring, predictable me.
I have the weekend planned out to the minute.
There's no room for shenanigans.
I promise. What a pair we make.
- Yes, we do.
Hey, uh, Jordan?
[Startled grunt]
- Wow.
- Listen, why don't you leave the ring with me?
- Why? - It was my grandmother's.
It has very sentimental value. - You don't trust me?
- No, it's not you, it's all those vagrants
and addict gamblers in Vegas.
- Take care of it for me. - I will.
This beautiful ring will be in my safe,
awaiting the return of my beautiful fiancee.
- Let's go to Vegas. - Let's go to Vegas.
[Dance music]
♪
[Coins clinking]
[Indistinct chatter]
That looks disgusting.
- Jordy, this is your big night,
your last hurrah, so to speak.
- I like being in control.
It suits me. Plus I promised Peter.
- Jordy... You know we love you.
- So we say this with nothing
but your best interests at heart.
- As your friends, we're concerned
Peter just isn't the one for you.
- Subtle, Jess. - Sorry, I couldn't help myself.
- I know you guys aren't big fans of Peter's,
but he's just been really stressed out
and I'm trying to make things easier on him.
He'll go back to normal once he gets this promotion.
- Okay, if you say so.
- Drinks, ladies? - Yes!
Can I have a pina colada?
- Ooh, I'll have the same. Virgin, please, no rum.
- Wh--what?
- You guys remember the winter formal.
- Oh, the last time Jordan was truly fun.
- I ended up on the back of a motorcycle
30 miles away with a guy named "snake breath."
- And you lost my favorite shoes.
- Which is why i am not drinking.
Virgin, definitely.
- I will have another one of these, please.
The best thing about being single,
nobody cares what I do.
- [Chuckles]
And I will take her rum in my pina,
and then a little extra on top of that, please.
- [Laughs] Okay.
And did you want the pint or the yard?
- We want the biggest you got.
- Whoo! - We are celebrating.
Well, some of us are.
- I promise to let loose as much as humanly possible.
- [Laughs] - You never know.
- Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh.
- What? - Matt swift.
-TheMatt swift?
- Uh-huh, the movie star.
- Oh, wow, it's Matt swift.
- Ilovehim. - I love him.
- I don't like his movies. - Who cares about his movies?
He's gorgeous, he's famous, and he's five feet away,
and I am freaking out.
- I can't turn around. [Overlapping chatter]
- He's kind of short.
- All right, two straws, virgin,
and one straw, extra super lots of rum.
- Is he looking over here? - Oh, my--
we need to make him look this way.
He is gorgeous. - Oh, my--he's so hot.
- Hi. - Whoo!
- Hello. - Yes!
- Wow, girl.
- And, um...Virgin. - Thank you.
- And extra super lots of rum. - Whoo, yeah!
Oh, no, we should cheers Matt.
- Matt! - Matt!
[Cheering loudly]
- He cheers-ed back. Cheers.
[Giggling, cheering]
- Oh, this is delicious. Cheers, ladies.
- You think that's delicious?
You should try the one with the rum in it.
- Whoo! - Mmm, wow.
- [Giggles] So anyway--
so, all of a sudden, there's a knock at the door,
and I open the door, and I said "hello..."
[Chatters indistinctly]
[Dance music]
♪
- [Groans] Oh, my head's gonna explode.
- I have some aspirin if you need it.
- [Gasps] Um, hello?
- Hi. [Laughs]
[Pill bottle rattling]
Headache?
I'm Matt. We met last night.
- I know who you are.
- [Chuckles] Last night a little hazy?
- I'm--i mean--
[whispering] You're Matt swift.
- I am.
- And I'm here with you in your hotel room.
- Yes. - Right.
- Well, you and your wonderful mask
couldn't remember your room number,
let alone walk back to it.
- So I slept here...
On this couch.
- [Chuckles] Yeah.
And I slept in the next room, in my bed.
- [Relieved sigh]
Where are my friends?
- Oh, your friends.
They went with my manager Eric, to go celebrate.
- Celebrate what? - Let me help you.
Celebrate the wedding. - Without me?
And they just--they--they-- they just...
Left me here with a stranger?
- Wh--stranger? I'm a pretty respectable guy.
- [Gasps]
Don't panic.
Everything has an explanation.
Uh, please tell me this is a dream.
It's a dream, right? Uh...
'Cause if it's not a dream, then I have just stolen
somebody's really humongous, gorgeous diamond.
[Knock at door] - Room service.
- Ah, nice.
All right. You like pancakes?
- Can we talk about last night?
- Amazing, right? Huh?
Thank you, my friend.
Amazing, huh?
Yeah, and, you know, I'm shooting
this super stressful movie right now,
so I really needed to blow off some steam.
Thank you for that.
We were on stage with a journey cover band.
- Journey is my absolute favorite.
- I know, I know. That's how you got me on stage.
You were really going for the high notes.
- And then what happened? - Well, you don't remember.
You won me $6,000 at the craps table.
It was so great.
Every time you'd go to roll the dice--
- uh, okay, you're welcome. Then what happened?
- Oh, we went to that new club,
the one where all the waiters,
they wear the outfits made out of tinfoil.
- Oh, that sounds really weird. What else?
- And then we got married.
All right, let's eat.
- Oh, no.
I mean, I kind of thought that--
oh, no, this is really, really, really bad.
Oh--is it legal?
- It sure was, wife.
- Why do I feel so horrible? I didn't drink.
I don't-- [Gasps]
She must have switched our drinks.
One straw was rum. I got the rum!
- Look, I really think you're just overreacting.
- Oh, do you now? Oh, really?
Do you know why i was in town?
It's my bachelorette party.
- The bachelorette--
wait, you... Are the bride?
- I didn't tell you that last night?
- No, you just kept saying that weddings
were stressful and overrated,
and that you just wished you could get it over with,
which, technically, we did.
- Oh, this is so bad. - Come on.
Let's eat. Come on.
I'm gonna call the lawyers.
Tomorrow, we're gonna get an annulment.
Boom, two days from now,
we are both gonna be single again.
- Really? - Yes. Sit.
- It's that easy?
- I pay a lot of money for these lawyers.
Eat. You will feel better.
Eat.
- Ugh.
- Good morning, Julie.
Do you remember me? Eric, Matt's manager?
- Sure. Sort of, a little bit,
but not really at all. - Can I help you?
You look a little lost.
- I lost my key and forgot my room number.
- We having some regrets, Julie?
- Yes, thousands. You promise I'll hear from him?
- I promise.
- And what if I don't? - You will.
- But what if I don't? - But you will.
- But I don't know either of you.
I don't know if you're telling me the truth.
- All right, look, here is my card.
If you need anything, just give me a call.
You got nothing to worry about.
We're gonna take care of this.
We got it covered, trust me.
- And, by the way, for the annulment and everything,
my name is Jordan. Jordan Grady.
- Jordan. Got it.
[On tv] The chief ordered
the toughest cops in the city
to clean up the mean streets. - Freeze.
- This guy wasn't one of them. - Freeze!
- From the comedy team that makes
the movies that make you laugh
comes the story of one man's fight
for truth, justice... - Freeze!
- And pastrami. - Freeze!
- Matt swift is Mike storm: Rookie cop.
- What have I done?
- Of course I have photographic evidence.
I'm not an idiot.
That's what you're offering?
Daily gossipoffered three times that.
Well, I'm sorry we couldn't do business together.
- Wait, wait, hang on, hang on.
- What's that? - $25,000.
- That is a number i can work with.
- Ahh! Wait, wait, turn it off, turn it off.
- No, you two have some explaining to do.
- [Laughs]
- Okay, okay, can you guys please tell me--what is this?
- Uh, that's your list of things to do while in Vegas.
- Oh, and do you see anywhere on this list where it says
"marry someone who is not your fiance"?
- Yeah, I don't see that on there.
- Jordan, you are Mrs. Matt swift.
That is huge. That is super huge.
He wouldn't even marry that chick from that sitcom
that he dated for, like, five years, so...
[Phone ringing]
- [Gasps] It's Peter.
- What are you gonna tell him? - Nothing! Nothing.
Matt said that we could get a quickie annulment,
and it could be over in, like, one to two days.
So...Peter will not understand.
We take this to the grave.
- To the grave. - Okay.
- I promise.
- Hi, sweetie, how are you?
- Good, you're awake.
Didn't want you to miss your flight.
- Oh, that is so sweet. You always think of me, honey.
- Uh-huh, I'm heading into the office for a little
before picking you girls up.
- You know, you work too hard.
You should give yourself a break.
- Idle hands don't make partner by summer.
- Billable hours do.
- You're right. I understand, honey.
- So is last night's wedding the biggest mistake of her life,
or is this one?
- There he is. All right.
- Hey. [Groans]
There's my bride. How you doing, honey?
- Great.
- And...I kept it safe for you.
- Thank you. Felt so weird without it,
like something was missing.
- Oof, Betty, Wilma, you two look worse for the wear.
Now, if you didn't drink, like jordy,
you'd be feeling much better today.
- Yeah, jordy's way better off than us today.
- [Groans]
- So how was the bachelor bash?
- Terrible.
I drank two beers and triple-bogeyed every hole.
Just can't think straight under the influence, you know?
Really ruined my day. - I know how you feel.
- So we can put the Martins at table 11 with the busbys,
or the buzzkills, as I like to call them.
[Chuckling] What do you think, sweetie?
- What, mom? - Aren't you paying attention?
This is your wedding.
I'm not doing this because I enjoy it.
- I just can't seat people i don't know.
It doesn't feel right.
- Don't mind her.
She's still tired and cranky
from her little bachelorette bash.
I keep saying that Vegas is one disgusting town.
- You know, I've never understood the draw of gambling.
It seems ridiculous to throw your money
at something with such a low rate of return.
- Oh, it's the thrill,
the challenge of trying to beat the house.
- [Chuckles]
Are you feeling okay?
I certainly hope that you are not coming down with something.
- I'm fine. Just a little tired.
- Get over it, darling.
Weddings don't plan themselves.
- Why hasn't he called? It's been two days.
- It's been one day.
- It feels like ten. - He'll call.
- How do you know? - I'm very psychic.
- No, you're not.
- Look, he's married too. It's not just you.
Though I find it highly unfair
that Jess and i can't find one husband,
and at the present time, you have two.
- Don't envy me. I am a very bad person,
who can't own up to my own mistakes.
I'm having a very hard time living with myself.
- You can always come clean. - Not that hard a time.
These aren't the right size. - They were cute.
- These are the big size.
We have to have the small size with these tins.
- They bubble.
- Good morning. Hi, Benny.
[Indistinct chatter, phones ringing]
[Phone ringing]
- Hello? - Hey, jordy.
Alan's on his way in. - Thank you.
- The welby house has closed.
- Oh, that was so quick.
- You're doing a good job, Jordan.
It's not going unnoticed.
- Thank you, Alan.
- Is that your fiance? - Where?
- He's still your fiance?
- Yes, of course.
Hi, sweetie. What a nice surprise.
- Hey, Peter. - Hi.
- I can explain.
- So Vegas was so uneventful
that you simply forgot to mention this?
- I'm so sorry.
It was really just a big misunderstanding
that spiraled out of control, and I am fixing it.
- The foundation of a solid relationship is trust,
and you go and pull a stunt like this?
- Peter, I am so sorry. You have to know that.
- And you said you wouldn't drink, Jordan.
- And I didn't. I mean, I tried not to.
- But what?
You were force-fed by Jose cuervo?
- Peter, there was a mix-up.
I accidentally got Claire's drink,
and then, the next thing I knew, we were married.
I knew you would react like this,
which is why I wanted to handle it first.
- Of course i react like this.
Wh--what, were you looking for my blessing?
- Peter, nothing happened.
- Oh, no, a marriage happened, Jordan.
That's not nothing.
- It was an innocent, yet severe lapse of judgment,
and I promise it will not ever happen again.
- Uh-huh. And how does all this
not interfere with our impending nuptials?
- Matt's taking care of it.
- Oh! Matt's taking care of it.
So he's "Matt" to you now.
- Listen, we are going to get an annulment,
and then we can just pretend like none of this ever happened.
- When?
- As soon as his lawyers call me.
And then I am going to marry you,
and we are going to have a great life together.
Stuff to bring on honeymoon...
Okay.
[Phone rings]
I am not giving any interviews.
No comment.
- That's good, that's good.
They're gonna keep calling you. Just keep saying that.
You have no comment. - Who is this?
- It's Matt.
- Please tell me you're calling to say we have our annulment.
- No, not yet, but we should know something
in the next few days.
- Time is of the essence here, Matt.
- I know, I know, and Eric's informed the attorneys of that.
Look, Jordan, I'm sorry you got dragged into my madness.
I can't blow my nose these days
without it making it into the tabloids.
- Who did this? Who gave them that picture?
- Could have been anyone.
Room service guy, the chapel people, a cab driver--anyone.
People are always looking to make a quick buck.
- At our expense.
- Look, we're gonna get this taken care of.
We'll get it done.
- As soon as possible, please.
My fiance is not happy.
- Who wants some moo shu?
- I'll trade you for sweet and sour chicken.
- Do you have any chopsticks? - In the utensil drawer.
- I should've brought them from my apartment.
- He's so moody. - You would be too
if your fiancee married someone who wasn't you.
- I blame you.
- Well, I blame you too, for my predicament.
- Boo-hoo, poor you.
I married a movie star.
My husband's the hottest guy in the universe.
Oh, turn the oven on, i am so going in.
- I didn't want this, all right?
I don't even think he's a good actor.
- Then can I have him?
- You don't have chopsticks.
- Oh, I'm sorry, i thought I did.
- It's no problem. Let's just put in the movie.
- Hmm. I hear it's funny.
And we all could use a little bit of a laugh right now.
- ...mystery wife of movie star Matt swift.
Timeline: Hollywood has learned exclusively
that the bride, Jordan Grady, works as a real estate agent...
- Oh, my. - For Pratt brothers realty.
Not only was this marriage kept well under wraps,
but evidently Ms. Grady was scheduled to marry
this man, attorney Peter Drake,
in just a few weeks.
While this top secret wedding seemed
to catch all of Hollywood off guard,
no one seems to be more surprised than Lauren deblanc.
- I've always said that Matthew is a narcissist
that suffers from a severe case of arrested development,
and unless one can marry oneself,
he would never tie the knot.
But color me in the wrong.
Go ahead and do it, because how silly!
He just up and married some random gold digger he just met.
[Scoffs] Jordan.
- Undoubtedly, we have not heard the last of Jordan Grady.
- [Gasps]
You just went from anonymous to notorious in, like, 15 flat.
- Yeah, that was a great laugh.
I--i need to-- i need to get some air.
- Hello. - Come, come on.
- So here's the latest report from studio marketing
onMike storm: Rookie cop. - Ooh, thanks.
Okay. Well, it's tracking better.
Wow...Much better.
- Your plan is working.
- Scandal broke two days ago,
and interest in the movie's up 240% already.
- Wow, that's a lot of percent. - It is.
- Oh, um, Matt is going to be
on the cover ofpeoplemagazine next week.
Yay! Quest p.R. Called this morning.
His wife too.
- This whole thing has made Matt swift quite intriguing.
- Yay, I love that.
- [Chuckles]
- Oh, Burt feedler called this morning,
and he is ready to go through with the annulment.
He just needs a little bit more information, so...
- You know what? Let's hold off.
Let it ride for a little while,
at least until the movie opens.
- Should I let Matt know?
- I'll let him know when I see him on the set later.
- [Whispering] Okay, I will not say a word.
- Why are you whispering?
- Halfway there.
Thank you so much for helping with the place cards.
- Oh, I just hope it isn't all for nothing.
- Passive-aggressive doesn't suit you, mom.
I prefer you aggressive-aggressive.
- Fine, then I will be aggressive-aggressive.
Jordan Elizabeth Grady, you have no one to blame
for this predicament but yourself.
I don't mean to pry,
but why would you have gone and done something like this?
- I don't know. I guess I just freaked out.
I mean, things have been so crazy with the wedding planning,
and Peter was stressed.
I guess I just got carried away by a moment.
- Moments are just that, sweetie--moments.
Marriage is forever.
So you better make sure itwasjust a moment,
and not some sort of... Cry for help.
- It was just a moment. I am positive of that,
and I am doing everything i can to fix it.
- Well, good, or your dad's going to lose it,
because he's already put down $4,300
in non-refundable deposits.
- Okay, please tell daddy not to worry.
This wedding is happening.
I am sure the annulment is going through as we speak.
- All right, come on, give me your best.
Show me what you got. I'm ready.
- [Grunts]
- No problem. - You are out of shape.
- Come on, don't blame me for my avatar's shortcomings, huh?
I'm a phone jockey. What do you want from me?
Hey, which, by the way,
is ringing off the hook for you, my friend.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- New business or old business? - New.
Quite new.
- Yeah? - Come on.
- Quest p.R. Tells me that suddenly
Mike storm: Rookie cop is 72% interest.
- Forget this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, man, you're up from 12%.
This is good for you.
- Is this 'cause of the marriage?
- It most definitely is because of the marriage.
- Go figure, Hollywood.
The only place where bad publicity
suddenly is good for your career.
- What are you talking about, bad publicity?
It's just publicity.
And if we hold off on the annulment
until after the movie opens,
we are looking at a very big weekend, my friend.
- Mm, she's supposed to get married really soon.
- I'm just talking about a little while,
a matter of days.
She'll have plenty of time to get married.
Everybody wins here, Matt.
Come on, we need this.
Youneed this. Your career needs this.
- Okay, but the second the movie opens,
you make this thing happen. - Done, you got it.
[Overlapping chatter]
- Oh, there she is, there she is.
- Got it? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [Screaming] No!
[Shrieking]
- My goodness. - I was violated.
There's a peeping tom outside, and he just saw me naked.
- What are you talking about? - Oh, go look, go look.
[Hyperventilating]
- They found out where I live.
- Oh, my gosh, they're probably going through our trash.
- This is insane. It's been two days.
I want my life back.
- You call them today and rail into them--
- okay, don't worry. I will put a stop to this today.
[Exhaling heavily] - No, no, no.
- You're--shh.
- Over here, over here. Hey, jordy.
- I will have you know that this is illegal.
You are trespassing on private property.
- Hey, the grass may be private property,
but the sidewalk lives in the public domain, toots.
- Okay, well, my fiance's a lawyer.
- All right.
[Engine revving] - Jordy, jordy, one more shot.
Come on. Hey, roll down your window, at least!
[Phone ringing]
- [Laughs]
Whoo! Eric Spencer's office.
- Hi, my name is Jordan Grady--
- oh, um, hold please.
- This is going to need signatures asap.
- Eric Spencer's office.
- My name is jor-- - one moment please.
I'm so sorry. We are just--
the phones are on fire today.
- [Sighs]
- Eric Spencer's office.
- Listen, it is imperative that I speak with Matt swift.
My name is Jordan Grady,
and I desperately need to talk with him.
- Okay, desperate, sounds important.
Hold, please. I have that number.
[Phone crashes] Ooh, hate when that happens.
It's my first day. I have that number here.
Somewhere... If you could--
oh, my goodness, outsmarted myself.
All righty. 818-555-0124.
- Thank you so much. I really appreciate your help.
- Thank you. [Sighs]
[Dialing]
[Phone ringing]
- Hey, it's belinda here,
and you've reached the official Matt swift fan club line!
If you'd like to join, leave your name and address
after the tone, and I'll send you a membership kit.
We can be united forever as soul sisters
in our love for Matt swift!
- I don't know how people do it.
I feel like I'm living in a fish bowl.
I feel like a public spectacle.
Peter is so humiliated.
I can't even look at him. I'm just racked with guilt.
- Try calling that manager guy. - I did.
And my autographed picture will arrive in four to six weeks.
He said he'd take my calls.
Guess what. He's not taking my calls.
- So now what? - I don't know.
- You need to go to the premiere.
Mike storm: Rookie cop is opening tomorrow night.
Vanessa's firm is covering publicity.
- Could she get me in? - Please, I'm her roommate.
She can't even get me in.
- Great plan. Well thought-out.
- Just show up.
Talk to him. How hard can it be?
[Indistinct chatter, cheers]
- Silly of me to think this would be difficult.
- There he is, there he is. Matt!
Hey, Matt! - Matt, Matt, Matt!
- Come here, come here. - Matt!
- Matt, come here. - This is a great plan.
- Come here. Matt, Matt, come here.
Listen, Matt, Matt-- go, just go.
- No. - Go, go, just go.
- There is a barricade here for a reason, Claire.
- As if you can't jump over a three-foot rope.
- I'm gonna distract the security guard.
You just go. Hey, hey, hey!
Excuse me! Excuse me. Yeah, you, come on.
Come on. Come here.
Do you work out?
I just love a guy in uniform.
Is that a bulletproof vest under there?
It is, isn't it? - No.
- Sorry, sorry, excuse me. I need to talk to Matt.
- I know you! You're--
- my name is Jordan Grady.
I am Matt's wife. - Oh.
- And I have been trying to get a hold of you.
- Right, right, of course. I--that's where I've seen you.
Look, I am so sorry I haven't gotten back in touch with you.
I mean, it has been crazy with this movie premiere.
- Well, it's been a little crazy for me too,
seeing as how I can't get my marriage license
for my upcoming wedding until I'm single--
which will be when exactly?
- Uh... Yeah, one sec, okay?
Hey, Matt, excuse me. I am so sorry.
Please, come here, just for a second.
Look who's here. Your wifey showed up.
- I'd prefer if you didn't call me that.
- Hey, whoa, guys, guys. - Excuse me, whoa.
- Guys, it's okay. She's with me.
- Okay, okay. - Sorry about that.
- Thank you, I wasn't really in the mood to go to jail.
Can we please talk?
- Yes, I...Need to take care of this first.
Do you...Do you want to see the movie?
- Then can we talk? - Definitely, definitely.
Here.
[Overlapping chatter]
- There she goes.
- Jordan, I'm sorry i took so long
to get in touch with you.
[Pen scribbling] What's your name?
- Shelly. - With an "e-y"?
- No, just "y."
- You didn't get in touch with me.
I stalked you and risked arrest.
- Right, and I'm sorry about that.
I've just been so busy promoting the film.
Shelly, you are as pretty as your name.
- Oh. [Giggles]
- Um, we need to talk about our little problem here.
- Wait, can you sign one for my sister Beth?
- How about "to my good friend, Beth"?
- She'd like that a really lot.
- Um, Peter and I have done some research,
and apparently getting an annulment is not as easy
as what you might think.
Eric's got it covered.
You have documents and pie charts.
This is not the same girl i met in Vegas.
- My guard was down.
- There you go. Well, maybe you should
let your guard down a little more often.
- It is! - Look, Matt--
- can we have one? - Sure, of course.
- Thank you so much. My name is Suzie.
- There you go, Suzie.
So you gonna see my movie?
- Yeah, of course I am.
- Thank you. - Thank you.
- And I wanted to give this back to you.
- Keep it. I bought it for you.
Or you could sell it.
- Thank you, but I can't.
It's blood money.
My happy future may have died for it.
- What's your favorite charity?
- Cancer society. - We'll donate it to them.
- Really? You'd do that?
- If you'll sit back down.
Listen, I feel horrible about this...
Although, it does take two to marry.
- I still can't believe we did that.
I can't believeIdid that.
- Why did you do it? Why'd you marry me?
- Well, you know, I've thought about it a lot,
and I really think it was your smile.
It hooked me. - There she is.
There's the girl i know and married,
the no-nonsense smart aleck.
- She comes out every once in a while.
- Well, keep her coming. I like that girl.
Although you still haven't answered my question.
Why'd you do it? - Um...
Honestly, i-i think...
All the time, about everything.
My brain never shuts up.
And that night, i just turned it off
and lived in the moment.
- Turn it off. Words to live by.
- If only I could. - You can.
You just choose not to.
- Why did you marry me?
- Because we had a blast.
- My philosophy's always been look before you leap...
Then look again, ten more times.
- My way's more fun than yours.
- Well, my way's less complicated than your way.
- You might have a point.
- As evidenced by the endless stream of flashbulbs
currently bombarding us. - You know what,
let's get you out of here before you go blind.
I've got my car at the theater.
I'll give you a ride home.
Eric's taking care of things. Soon this will be done.
Then you can rush off and marry hubby number two
and live happily ever after.
- Where are you guys staying tonight?
- No comment! - Atta girl.
- Come on, Matt, smile. - [Laughs]
- Yes! [Laughs]
Initial box office numbers are in.
$8 million on the day,
projecting to a $32 million weekend
and the number one spot. Oh, the studio is pleased.
They are quite pleased. They're talking sequel already.
- This is a fluke. Don't they get it?
A sequel would be ridiculous.
- All they care about is the bottom line, my friend.
And right now, the bottom line is looking quite appealing.
- Great, then let's revisit that indie movie that I like.
- Matt, you can't go and do $2 million indies
when you're this hot.
They want franchises with you.
I know what I'm talking about on this, Matt.
You've got to trust me. - I know.
I know, I trust you.
- This is a big weekend for you.
You won it. Enjoy it.
You won it! - At someone else's expense.
- [Scoffs]
- Hey, now that the movie's open,
let's make this annulment thing happen, okay?
- You got it, buddy.
I will get Burt on it right away.
- Cool. - All right.
You have a good shoot today. - Great.
- Later. - Thanks.
- Come on, Gibbs.
This isn't a settlement, this is an insult.
No, i--
- when they showed up last night
to the premiere of his new movie...
- I'll call you back.
- And heartthrob Matt swift wasted no time
squiring his new bride around town.
- No, listen, our position remains the same.
We have no comment.
Yeah, and in terms of those pregnancy rumors--
oh--really?
I thought everyone had heard those.
Yeah, people are calling me left and right asking me,
but--no, again no comment!
- [Whispering] She's pregnant?
- I didn't say she was pregnant.
I didn't say she wasn't pregnant.
She very well may be... Or she may not be.
Who knows? - Keeping it fresh in the press.
- I don't want a $32 million weekend, Vivienne.
- No. - I want a $42 million weekend.
- Yes! - Come on.
- Up top! High five! - Yes!
Taste it! Taste it! - Yes.
- Yes! - Yes!
- All right, all right, come on. What's next? What've we got?
- Let's ratchet it down. All right.
Moving onward and upward-- let me get my pen, sorry.
- Oh, no, no, no, no, put that down, put that down.
Let me help you.
You are not supposed to be lifting heavy things.
- What are you talking about?
[Gasps]
Now they're just making stuff up.
- You need to sit down and not over-exert yourself.
I can't believe i had to find out this way.
I am your best friend.
- I don't need to, 'cause I'm not pregnant.
- Are you sure? Have you taken a test?
- I don't need to take a test. I'm not pregnant.
[Indistinct chatter]
- How do you feel about your fiancee Jordan
marrying Matt swift?
- I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that's Peter.
- I am a lawyer.
This is private property. You all are trespassing.
Open the door, honey!
- Give us something.
- Let's go talk in my room.
- And then bishop,
he came into my office, and he said,
"is this really the image you want to portray
to the senior partners?"
- None of it's true.
- One part is true. You went to his premiere.
- I had no choice.
I had to find out what was going on.
- And what is going on?
- His lawyers are working on it.
- It does not take this long to file a petition.
I've done it a thousand times.
- He assured me that everything is on track
for the annulment to go through this week.
- It had better be,
or I'm taking matters into my own hands.
I am tired of waiting. - So am I.
- Are you? - Yes.
- I hope that's true, Jordan.
Now, I have to get back to the office.
You just--you--
you sit here and you think about what you did.
[Door closes]
- It's a sham.
- Don't insult the nice lady, Jordan.
It's a beautiful dress.
- That's not what I mean. I'm an imposter.
You're only supposed to wear white to your first wedding.
- Elizabeth Taylor wore white at five out of eight weddings.
It really is an archaic concept,
so could we do away with that large Scarlet a, please?
- This is supposed to be the happiest day of my life,
and he's ruining it.
- Oh, yeah, if only he hadn't clubbed you over the head
and dragged you to the altar,
you wouldn't be in this predicament.
By the way, we could always let it out in the stomach area
to accommodate any unexpected growth, couldn't we?
- Mom, how many times do I have to tell you?
I'm not pregnant.
- These days, jordy,
I just don't know what to believe.
- I'm not pregnant.
He called? The security guard?
- Yes, his name is Chris,
and he's an aspiring screenwriter.
We're going out on Saturday night.
- Oh, he was cute.
I'm glad some good came out of this debacle.
- You have to come with me.
- Claire, I can't go with you on your first date.
- You have to!
I do everything wrong,
and I don't want to screw it up.
I need you to run interference between me and my mouth.
- Okay, I will see if Peter wants to go.
We can double date if you need a chaperone.
Uh, I've got to go. Okay, goodbye.
- 'Kay, bye.
- Hey, you got a minute?
- I was just going over my new listings.
- So this circus is getting a little out of hand,
don't you think?
- I am so, so sorry, Alan.
I'm really, really trying to handle the situation.
- Maybe you should take some time off,
get the whole thing squared away.
- Are you firing me?
- Oh, no, nothing like that.
It's just, it's a bit disruptive to me
and co-workers and...
You were going to take time off for the honeymoon.
You'll just... Start a little sooner.
- Okay. - Okay.
[Phone ringing]
- Eric Spencer's office. - Do not put me on hold.
This is Jordan Grady,
I am the current wife of Matt swift,
and I need to speak with Eric urgently.
- Okay, just one moment, please.
[Muttering indistinctly]
[Phone beeps]
- Hey, Jordan, how are you?
- I'm not happy. Thank you for asking.
- Oh, is there anything i can do about that?
- I am sick of waiting for you people to contact me.
- I know, I know, I'm so sorry.
These things take time.
- You know, I keep hearing that and still no progress.
So I need you to put me in touch with Matt swift today.
- That is easier said than done. He's a busy guy.
He's shooting a movie.
- All I have to do is walk outside my front door,
and I have the attention of the entire press corps,
so you have him call me or I go out there
and I make up some very dirty...Dirt.
- Okay, um, I'll tell you what,
why don't you come by the studio Monday, say 1:00-ish?
- That's what i thought you'd say.
- I'm actually pretty pleased with the latest draft, so...
I'll hear if the agent's interested next week.
- That's great, Chris. Good luck with that.
- Thanks.
You know who would actually be great for this
is Matt swift.
I know it's a lot to ask, but do you think that
there's any way you could slip him a script?
- I don't really know him.
- Wh--i thought that you were--
- [clearing throat]
You know, i read something today,
that the term "getting fired,"
it actually stems from olden days
where they would just burn people's houses down
and get rid of them. - Really?
Wow, where did you read
that random yet fascinating tidbit?
-Cosmo.
- It's really great that we have evolved as a people.
- [Laughs] Have we evolved?
'Cause I don't think so.
[Laughs]
- Hi, my name is Jordan-- - yes, miss Grady.
Your husband's expecting you.
So you just want to go straight down here,
make a left, and then you'll see
a parking space clearly marked with your name.
Have a nice day. - Thanks.
- Can we get this lovely lady leaning on the car?
Thank you.
And the older gentleman, we need him on his mark.
- Hi, miss Grady.
We have a chair for you over here.
- Oh, thank you. And it's Jordan.
- Rolling! - Marks.
- We're about to break for lunch.
You can watch the action in that monitor.
- Marks. [Marker clacks]
- And...Action.
- You think you've got problems?
We all got problems, Mickey.
Some of us just deal with them better than others.
Some of us don't rat out our friends
when the going gets tough.
Some of us live by a code of loyalty...
And others don't.
So...Where do you live, Mickey?
Huh? Where do you live?
- And cut. Beautiful, gentlemen.
All right, that's the one.
And, uh, that's lunch. - Background, back to places.
- Hey, little lady. First time on a movie set?
- You are quite the show off.
- Well, thank you very much. What'd you think?
- I'm no expert, but I thought
you were a little stiff.
- Stiff? [Chuckles]
Really? How?
- I don't know, it just didn't seem very natural.
- Hold that thought.
Cal...
I want to go again. I just--another one.
- Buddy, it was perfect. You don't need another take.
- No, no, no, i was stiff.
I was stiff.
Guys, I'm sorry about this. We're gonna go one more time.
Let's take it back to one.
- All right, everybody back. - Good.
- Back to one.
One more time.
- Thank you. - There you go.
- How nice. - Enjoy.
- Thank you.
- My last three films have bombed,
andMike storm: Rookie cop, it's a fluke.
I've been getting bad advice for too long now,
and I trust your judgment.
- Why? You don't even know me.
- 'Cause you call it as it is, Jordan.
You never ask for anything. You don't have an angle.
- That's not true. I want an annulment.
- [Laughs] See?
You're blowing holes in my theory already.
That's what I'm talking about.
Hollywood is this opportunistic world.
You never know who to trust.
And then along comes this big blue-eyed girl
who--not to brag-- is in a position
that a lot of girls would want to be in,
and all you want is out.
- So I should consider myself lucky?
- Absolutely. Sweepstakes lucky.
- Mm.
- You did say that night it was fate.
- Are you sure I said "fate" and not "fake"?
- Oh, I don't think you said "fake brought us together."
- Maybe you should have your ears checked.
- I think you need to realize you said it
and you should own it. - Okay, fine, I said it.
But just because I said it doesn't mean I meant it.
- Of course, whatever you say.
- Look, Matt...
You are not the vapid, egotistical, Hollywood actor
that I thought you were.
- Oh, well, give me some time.
I'll actually get to that point.
- But I would like my life to go back to normal.
No more cameras in my bathroom window,
no more timeline: Hollywoodreports.
Peter can't even look at me.
He's like a stranger, and I don't blame him.
- Does he know how hard you're working to fix this mess?
- I don't think he cares. He wants results now.
- Well, he's gonna get results.
We're going to be single by Friday.
Just try to keep your week open.
- I hope so.
If you'll notice, in this article,
not all annulments are granted.
It really depends on the judge.
- Organized there.
Look, Eric's told us-- he's assured me,
they're going to tell us whatever we need to know
so that the annulment will be granted.
- I guess I have no choice but to trust you.
And, just so you know,
I wouldn't have gone to the press about you.
- Well, by the way, just so you know,
I never really thought you would.
You're a good person, Jordan Grady.
You're not the best judge of acting talent,
but you're a good person.
Come on, Mickey.
What's it gonna be?
- Uh, I told you, carmine, I'm in it with you 100%.
I ain't no rat.
- [Laughs]
Really? That's the best you can do?
- It's no worse than what you just did.
- Thank you, thank you.
All right, this is serious, Jordan.
Okay? - Okay.
- You're playing an 80-year-old lifetime gangster.
Channel the mobster.
Just feel the mobster.
Just be the mobster. - Okay, okay.
I'm sorry to ruin your scene.
Let's try this again.
[Inhales deeply]
[Gruff, raspy voice] I told you, carmine.
I'm in it wit' you 100%.
I ain't no rat.
- Yeah, you know what,
I'm thinking you're more of the gangster's moll.
Let's--let's try that, the Lana scene.
- Okay. - Yeah.
Yeah, let's try that.
- Hey, how you doing, sir? - Good.
I'm Matt swift's attorney.
I have these documents for him to sign.
- Okay. What's your name?
- Look, guy, I'm here every other day to see him.
You do this to me every time.
- Thank you very much.
- I've had enough of you, all right?
You think you work for rocko? No, you work for me now.
You watch him, all right?
- Hey, hey, hey, you are on my set.
Whoa! - What's going on?
- Who is this guy?
- [Grunts] - What is going on here?
- Oh, no problem, I'm all set here.
- Please escort that gentleman off the lot.
- Don't worry about it. - Are you all right?
- Who is this man?
- We can work around this, Matt.
- Yeah, we can't cover it until the swelling goes down.
It won't match. - Okay.
- Great, once again, i don't make my day.
You, you go down to security,
and you tell them no one gets on this set
without a pass, a picture I.D., and a note from god!
Do you understand me? - Yes, sir.
- Then go! Move! Move faster.
- Oh, nice shiner. You're supposed to duck.
- Well, he's fast for an attorney.
- Sugar ray lawyer.
- [Laughs] Sugar ray lawyer.
That's good--ow. Any messages?
- Your mom wanted to make sure you're eating meat
for dinner next weekend.
- When did I stop?
- She read it inmovieline's famous vegetarians issue,
and wanted to double check.
And Burt feedler called,
wanted to know if he should file the petition for annulment yet.
- Wait a minute.
It was filed right after the movie opened.
- Not according to Burt.
He said he was supposed to hold off, per your orders,
until Eric gave him the go-ahead.
- You mean this process hasn't even started yet?
- Evidently not.
Wait, wait, wait, ahh. - Ew. I'll get the other one.
- That...Is gross. Ugh.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Uh, what's all this junk?
- Nice to see you too, honey.
I thought I'd start slowly bringing my things over,
so I don't bombard you all at once.
Sheets and towels. - I have sheets and towels.
- For one person,
but there are going to be two people living here,
which is why I brought closet organizers.
- Great.
So now I'll have a bunch of mismatched sheets and towels
littering my linen closet.
- I have it all charted out.
It will hardly be littering.
- Hey, do whatever you want, Jordan.
- Did I do something to you?
I mean, aside from the obvious.
- What were you doing at the movie studio today?
- What? - I followed you.
- I went to talk to him about the annulment.
- And is it done?
- This week, by Friday.
- I see. - Peter...
- I'll tell you when this is gonna be done, Jordan--
never, because you like this life.
You love being in the limelight.
Hollywood premieres, movie studios--
I've never seen you this happy.
- Oh, yeah, that's right, I'm just ecstatic.
I have no job, no privacy,
and a fiance who will hardly look at me.
- Well, gosh, whose fault is this, Jordan?
- How many times do I have to apologize?
I made a mistake that I am trying to remedy.
When will you stop punishing me?
- I don't think i can trust you again.
- Thank you, Peter.
Thank you for being so forthcoming.
I am glad to know who you really are
before we pledge our lives to each other.
- Oh, hey, I hope Matt enjoys the sheets and towels
and closet organizers.
- [Laughs] Very big money.
Hey, look, you know i have a deal--
oh, can I call you back? Great.
- Nice shiner. - Whoa, nice shiner.
- Thanks...To you.
The annulment was supposed to be taken care of by now.
- That--yeah, you've got to trust that
I know what I'm doing here, Matt.
- No, I told you to end this.
- Yeah, and I needed to keep you in the news,
whether you wanted it or not.
Mike storm: Rookie cop has exceeded all expectations,
and...Boom! I got your quote up.
- And what about her?
- Who "her"? Oh, you mean the wifey?
- Yes, my wife, and her name is Jordan.
You're messing with someone's life here.
- So what? She's freeloading.
She's latched herself onto your celebrity.
They're a dime a dozen in this town.
- She doesn't deserve this.
- Okay, fine. Okay.
No, she's a wonderful, terrific girl,
and we will fix this now, okay?
But you, my friend, should be thanking me.
You hired me to manage you because you trust my judgment.
Everything I've ever done has been for you.
- No, everything you've ever done is
because you got 10% riding on it.
- Oh, my--
come on, man, don't go-- overreact here.
- I'm not doing overreact,
just questioning whether or not
I need you as my manager any more.
- I'll sue you.
We have a contract. - Well, thanks, Eric.
You just made that decision a lot easier.
- Look, okay, just take some time to cool off, all right?
We'll talk about it tomorrow.
Come on, Matt.
Great. This is great.
Vivienne. - Yes, I am right here.
I didn't hear anything that was happening.
- Unbelievable. - Sorry.
- Peter hasn't called.
The wedding's off. - He'll call, jordy.
Once he cools off.
He's not gonna throw away your entire relationship.
[Knock at door]
Maybe that's prince charming right now.
[Knock at door]
[Stammering]
- I'm--I'm sorry? - Come in.
Ooh, come in, please, good sir.
- Why is she talking like that?
- Uh, Jordan, hi.
- Matt swift is here in my house.
- Mm, nice shiner. - Yeah.
Stunt gone awry. Occupational hazard.
- That's why you get the big bucks.
- Um...Could we have a minute?
- Uh, yeah, yeah, we'll just-- we'll leave you two alone.
Oh, don't forget to tell him about Chris' script.
Yeah, okay.
Bye. - Yes.
So I hope it's okay that I just came by.
- Yeah, we were just eating pizza.
- Okay.
And...I'm sorry.
I mean, the whole thing's my fault.
My first mistake was thinking Eric and I were friends.
Yeah, aside from my family and childhood friends,
most of the people in my world are paid to be there.
- That's sad.
- Yeah. I trust too easily, I guess.
When you're in my position,
people just tell you what you want to hear...
Except for you.
You never seem to do that, Jordan.
You never seem to.
- Well, I'm glad I'm able to please somebody these days.
- Peter's still mad.
- He's not speaking to me.
I don't know if we're on or we're off.
I know I'm at fault, but he's got to give a little.
Otherwise, I don't know what we have.
- Yeah, and at least now we know what the hold up was.
The annulment's moving forward.
- I don't think that matters anymore.
I mean, the urgency.
- What's he saying? - Shh.
- I can't hear what he's saying. - Shh.
- Does he love her? - Hold on.
- Well... - Go, go, go, go.
- I want to tell you that Eric wasn't the only one.
- Excuse us!
We thought you guys might want a little mood food.
- Thank you. I'm good.
- Yes. - Yeah, you are.
- Wow.
- [Chuckles] Yeah.
- Do you want to go out?
I mean,out.
- Out?
- Of here.
- Yeah, we both could use a little fun, right?
[Overlapping chatter]
- Mmm, what else?
- Milkshakes. Black and white.
Ooh, ooh, and mini corndogs!
- Mmm. Excuse me?
Two black and white milkshakes and an order of mini corndogs.
Good call.
You want a drink drink?
Oh, right. Sorry.
That's what got us into this mess.
Thank you.
I really think that a table full of junk food
is exactly what we needed right now.
- Mmm, agreed.
Just don't tell my personal trainer.
- Oh, I already put it on my blog, sorry.
- [Laughs]
Mm, you play? - What?
- Competitive air hockey.
- Never. - Not even once?
- I don't know how. - Oh, it's a piece of cake.
Come on. - Oh, we should get some cake.
- Well, yeah, right after the air hockey.
- But my corndogs.
- They have to cool. Come on.
- All right. - Come on.
- I just don't want to embarrass you
by beating you mercilessly.
- Oh, you think you're gonna beat me.
- I could.
You're cute and all, but you don't seem very athletic.
- Are you--look, look at these guns right here, huh.
I once learned how to joust for a movie in four days.
I think I can take you in a little air hockey.
- Care to put your money where your mouth is?
- Oh, my money is always where my mouth is.
- What does that even mean?
- It means you're about to get slaughtered.
Bring it on.
[Puck clacking against table]
- [Laughs]
Ohh, she shoots, she scores.
It's a hat trick for gretzky. The crowd goes wild.
Whoooooo. - I can't believe it.
You--you're a ringer.
- You practically forced me to play.
What was I supposed to do, let you win?
I don't cave to celebrity.
- This, this is the Jordan i know and love.
You ought to blow off steam a little more often.
- Do you think I'm uptight?
- Perhaps a wee bit rigid.
- I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that,
and I'm gonna go bask in my glory with a mini corndog.
Oh, oh, how do they find you? - [Groans]
Someone tweets, and it's a matter of minutes.
- Information super highway. - Informationautobahn.
- Come on, guys, give us a chance, huh?
Where'd they go? - I don't know.
You okay? - Yeah.
- Maybe out front.
- Corndog.
- Corndogs.
[Door opens]
- Oh, missy, missy.
Looks like someone's been out past their curfew.
And it also looks like
someone hasn't been answering their cell...
Because Peter called me on my cell, looking for you.
- Oh.
- Oh. Hm.
[Indistinct chatter]
- Listen, I've got to go. I'll see you at the office.
Hi. - Hi.
- Listen, I hope you don't mind i already ordered,
but I have to get back to the office.
- It's okay, I don't have much of an appetite.
- So I've been doing a lot of thinking about us.
- So have I.
And I know I've disappointed you,
but is it really worth throwing away eight years together?
- Yes.
Yes, it is.
- What?
- Jordan, maybe you can get past all this,
but I can't.
The woman I fell in love with, she was responsible
and considerate.
She would never do the things you've done.
- I'm still the same person.
- Well, then you're not who I thought you were.
- So what are you saying?
- I'm saying I don't want to marry you anymore.
I'm saying I'd like my grandmother's ring back.
[Knock at door]
- Mom, I am not in the mood
to hear about how I've ruined my life.
- Well, good, because i didn't come to tell you that.
I came, actually, because i thought you might need me.
- I don't know what I'm gonna do.
- You're gonna do exactly what you have been doing.
It'll just be without Peter.
Claire, have you found a new roommate yet?
- The press scared everyone off, so it's fate that you're back.
- What are we going to tell everyone?
- That the wedding has been indefinitely postponed.
You don't owe anyone an explanation.
- I think they'll be able to do the math.
- Yes, but you can't keep the crystal bowls.
- [Tearfully] I love the crystal bowls.
- Everything has to go back.
- I had my whole life planned out.
I knew exactly what it was going to be.
- I think that, deep down,
you weren't ready to marry Peter.
You said it yourself. You got caught up in a moment.
- Whenever I'm with Matt, there's just no stress.
I can just be me and not worry about what people think.
- Sounds to me like maybe Vegas was more than just a moment.
- I don't know what I'm going to do.
I'm so confused. Everything's just a mess.
- Jordy, everything is going to be okay.
And when the time is right, and when the guy is right,
your life is going to fall into place perfectly.
- I hope so. [Sniffs]
[Phone rings] - Hello?
Oh, jordy, it's for you.
- Hello. - We have our hearing date.
- [Quietly] Thanks.
- Since it's evident
that you were both clearly of unsound mind
at the time of this marriage,
I'm gonna Grant you this annulment.
Marriage is an institution
that too many people take too lightly the days.
I expect that you both will think long and hard
before jumping into these waters again.
- Your honor.
- Jordan, talk to us. Sad day. Matt dumped you.
What are you feeling right now? - Guys, guys.
- Come on, Matt. Talk to us.
- It's been a really tough day.
- What was it like in court? - Jordan, do you have a comment?
- Why now? - Please, no comments.
- Why such a short one? - No comment, guys.
No comment.
- Jordan, just talk to us for a couple of seconds here.
- Give us some time. Please, guys, come on.
Excuse me, thank you. - What was it like?
Matt, who dumped who? - Matt!
- No comment.
[Sighs] You okay?
- None of this matters anymore.
Peter called off the wedding.
- I'm sorry to hear that.
- It's okay.
It's better to know who Peter is
before things get complicated.
- Yeah, I guess.
Times have been pretty trying for us lately, haven't they?
- Do you always speak in movie dialogue?
- Sorry. Occupational hazard.
Listen, I'm going down to San Diego this weekend,
see my parents for some rest, home-cooked meals,
and some serious board games with Ethel and Mike.
Would you want to join us?
- Why?
- Because it's fun.
It's well off the beaten path from these guys.
Give you a chance to decompress undisturbed.
Besides, me and my ego need a chance
to redeem ourselves from that air hockey debacle.
- As if that's possible.
- I happen to know that fun is the best medicine for you.
What do you say? - Okay, I'll go.
- Oh, here he is at the senior prom.
Isn't he precious? - Mom!
[Sighs]
There it is, proof.
A mother loves her child no matter how big of a dork he is.
- Yeah, or how big his head gets.
- You see? That's why I come home.
These two remind me of all my awkward years,
and the insecurities come flooding back.
- You were pretty cute.
- Oh, and there he is,
the only year he played baseball.
- Only the most humiliating year of my life.
- Yeah, well, all my life, all I ever wanted...
- Here we go. - Was a son who was in
the major leagues.
But my son, what does he decide to do?
Wear tights.
- Yes, Michael, if only our son had made something of himself.
- Bam! He's out of there!
- So, um, you know everything?
- Matt and i are very close.
- Then you must not think very highly of me.
- Oh, on the contrary.
I think you're the one person
that hasn't wanted something from my son.
- I have never done anything that crazy.
I-i take marriage very seriously.
- I believe you, Jordan.
So, what do you think of Matthew?
- Oh, I like him. - Oh, good.
- He's funny and sarcastic...
And annoyingly famous,
but...He makes me laugh.
- I think you're good for him.
- Oh, we're just friends. [Laughs]
Just thrown together through outrageous circumstances.
- Maybe so.
But I haven't seen Matthew look this happy with a girl
for a very long time.
- It's really good.
It needs some work,
but it's just the kind of thing
that Eric would have passed on without telling me.
- I think it gives you a chance to show what you've got.
- Yeah. I'll call the studio tomorrow.
We'll see how much Eric told me was true.
I wonder if they'd back me on this, though.
- I bet they would.
You're a ridiculously huge star.
I mean, I don't marry just anyone.
I have pretty high standards.
- [Laughs] Is that so?
It's pretty out here, isn't it?
You want to, uh-- you wanna go in?
- Oh, um, I don't want to get my hair wet.
- You don't want to get-- come on.
You don't have to go underwater.
You could just, you know...
- Well, I, um, don't really know how to swim.
I never really learned.
- Oh. Okay.
Would you want me to get you some of the arm floaties?
I know that my nephew has some around here.
- That's okay. I don't need floaties.
[Laughs]
- Is this--is this like the air hockey moment, huh?
You're gonna tell me you don't know how to swim,
and then you pull an olympic medal out of your pocket?
- No, really, truly, i don't know how to swim.
- Not that hard. I could show you.
- In your clothes?
- What, you don't think I'll go in in my clothes?
- No.
- Oh, I'll--that sounds like a dare to me.
I will show you.
I'm serious, i will do this.
[Laughs]
Yeah! - [Shrieks]
[Laughs]
- You see? You see, I did it!
And I survived.
- So you are, but you can swim.
- Well, trust me.
I am feeling very, very optimistic about your abilities.
Come on! [Laughs]
You're thinking too much again.
You've got to turn it off, Jordan Grady.
Turn it off and let go.
Do the thing that scares you to death.
- Drowning? - Yeah, I should rephrase that.
I promise you, i won't let you drown.
You can do it.
[Laughs]
Are you okay? - Yeah.
- You did it. - You told me to let go.
- You took a chance and you survived.
- Good night.
- [Laughs]
- So I love your parents. - [Laughs]
They're a bit much at times. - They're very sweet.
- Well, I hope my mom with her photos
didn't go overboard.
- [Laughs] I loved the photos.
- And my dad. - He's kooky.
- He's more than kooky.
Trust me, he was on his best behavior that weekend.
- I wish he would heat the pool.
- Yeah, he gets a little cheap.
- So, uh...Do you want to come in?
- Yeah, I'd love to, but I've got a ton of meetings.
Call you soon?
- Thank you for this weekend...
For everything.
- It was nice.
[Phone rings]
Yeah? - Matthew.
- Eric, why are you calling me?
- We had a disagreement.
It's not the first time
I had a knockdown drag-out with one of my clients.
Happens in all relationships,
so now we dust ourselves off and we move forward.
- Yeah, well, I've got different ideas for my career,
and I'm sorry, you don't fit in the picture anymore.
- Buddy, come on, we had six great years together.
- Eric, it's done.
I'm going with Cathy Riley at cbk.
- You still have one year left on your contract with me.
- Let's do this civilized.
- When you mess with my livelihood,
we are way beyond civilized.
- I'm so happy i have you back.
- It's kind of like I was never gone.
- Yeah, well, some of your stuff was,
and I really missed it.
- Help me put it away,
and maybe it will never leave you again.
You know how I am.
I can't rest until it's all done.
- Okay, well, I'm only helping you
because you're going back to work tomorrow,
not because you're an ocd freak.
[Phone rings]
- It's Eric Spencer, Matt's agent.
Hello, Mr. Spencer?
- Jordan, i have some information
about your precious Matt that you might find interesting.
He just might not be the catch you think he is.
Does that pique your interest, sweetie?
[Gate opening]
- Hey.
What's the matter? - Eric called me.
- I see.
- You told him to wait until the vie opened
to start the annulment? - Look, Jordan...
- Why would you use me like that?
- Look, I never should have gone along with it.
It was stupid and insensitive, and I'm sorry.
- So I'm just supposed to make all of this okay for you.
- No, no, that's not what I'm asking.
Jordan, just let me say this.
Ever since the weekend at my parents',
I can't stop thinking about you.
You're amazing, beautiful,
and just knowing you has made me realize
how cheap my little Matt swift world has become.
I will do anything and everything I can
to make this up to you.
- That's a great performance, Matt.
- Oh, Jordan, please-- - please leave.
- No. - Just go.
Go. - Come on.
- Leave.
- Thank you, Sarah.
The nisslers are getting restless.
They want to know why escrow's taking so long.
- The mortgage company has to do their due diligence,
and they don't have the greatest credit in the world,
so they're gonna need to be patient.
[Phone rings]
[Continues ringing]
- Uh, are you gonna answer that?
- No. I know who it is.
It's not important.
- Are you okay? - Yes, I really am.
And I know the nisslers are good friends of yours,
so please tell them
that I am going to get them their dream house.
I promise. - I will.
I know you've been through a lot,
but I just need you to keep your head in the game.
Okay? - I will.
I promise to focus. - All right.
[Phone continues ringing]
[Dialing number]
- Hello, it's Jordan Grady. Please leave a message.
[Phone beeps] - Jordan, it's me, Matt.
I'm trying to reach you. I'm sorry.
Please talk to me?
- Great yard. - Yeah.
- The thing I like about this house
is the breakfast nook. Come on and check it out.
- Jordan, please, come on. I'm trying to talk to you.
Would you--
all right, I'll call you at home tonight.
- [Clears throat] - Ow.
Mom. - [Sighs]
How you holding up?
- Today was my wedding day. - I know.
That's why I'm here. Are you okay?
- I guess so.
[Phone ringing]
Aren't you going to answer that?
- No, it's him again.
- Wow, a celebrity stalking a civilian.
Now that's a first.
So maybe you should hear what he has to say.
- Why? What's the point?
- Because, you said yourself, he's a good person.
What he did was wrong, but he's trying to apologize.
You know firsthand how that feels.
- He used me for his career.
[Phone rings]
- Did he?
People do things that they regret all the time,
don't they, Jordan?
You think about that.
You want some tea? I'll make you some tea.
[Answering machine beeps]
- Hey, Jordan. - [Scoffs]
- It's me, Matt, calling again.
I-i know you're home and you can hear this,
because...Well, I'm standing outside of your place right now.
Look, I let myself be manipulated,
and I let other people call the shots,
and I am the biggest jerk ever.
I-i did that thing. I listened to my manager
and my press, and I believed it.
And, I don't know, I thought i had it all figured out.
But then I met...You.
And you were so real and honest,
not to mention funny,
and you never asked for anything.
And for once...
I felt like I could let someone in.
So I want to thank you
for letting me be me.
Look, I... I know you're furious,
and I'm gonna stop bothering you,
so I will... Count to five,
and if you don't answer it by then,
I...I guess I'll just never call you again.
Okay?
So...So here goes.
One,
two,
three,
four...
Come on, Jordan.
Five.
- [Grunts]
- Looks like he's not done trying.
- I have more for you. I'll be right back.
- Thanks.
- He's always gotten everything he ever wanted.
People trip over themselves to give him what he wants.
He's just feeling sorry for himself.
- Oh, it's from Chris.
Matt got Chris' movie sold.
He's doing the movie. Good for him.
- Hm, great, i finally meet this amazing man,
and he sendsyouflowers.
- Here you go, ladies.
- Ugh. - Have a good day.
- Thanks.
Huh, must've been some script.
Ugh.
They're for me. - [Gasps]
- "Every single part of my life is because of you.
Love, Chris."
I stand corrected.
- [On tv] Matt, how does it feel
to be back in the $100 million club
withMike storm: Rookie cop?
- [Chuckles]
It feels...Cheap.
The movie is so embarrassingly bad,
it should be a crime to charge the public to see it.
That's how it feels.
- Wow, well, it...
- It's still in the theater.
You're messing with my box office,
you stupid, ungrateful actor.
- You have so many fans.
Do you really think it's a crime for them
to support one of your films?
- No, let me be clear, i support my fans,
and I appreciate them coming out to see my work,
but this particular project... Be forewarned.
- Okay, well... Let's get personal
and talk about your secret wedding.
What possessed you to run off and go get hitched?
You've been linked to so many a-list leading ladies.
What was special and different about this girl
that made you want to settle down?
- We're calling in sick.
- Well, I know everyone's looking for some dramatic story,
but it wasn't that. It was...A moment.
And I don't regret it for a second,
because I met the most amazing woman I've ever known.
She's really the only person outside of my family
that knows me,
not the Matt swift that publicists created.
She's funny and adoringly charming,
and...Just sweet.
- How difficult is it
to be in a relationship in the public eye?
- That's a good question.
Um...Look, I know my life has been incredibly charmed,
but being a celebrity isn't always easy.
Being the wife of one is even harder,
and just knowing me
has caused her a great deal of harm.
I'll always be indebted to her for being real with me
and inspiring me...
And just listening to me 'cause she wanted to.
Look, Holly, I live my life with no regrets,
but I have caused her a great deal of pain,
and, for that, I... Do have regrets,
and let's just say I'm truly, truly sorry.
- Very insightful.
More with my revealing interview with Matt swift
coming up after the break.
- [Sobbing] He's so in love with you.
- Do you think so? - Did you not just see that?
- [Sniffling] Okay, I've got to think.
- Call him.
- I'm gonna call him. Yeah.
Okay, yeah, I'm gonna call him. I'm gonna call him.
Right, okay, i-i don't know his number.
- You don't have his number?
- No, no, he always called me.
I've never called him.
- What about all the messages he's left you?
- I erased them.
- Call his manager! - He fired him.
- Oh, um, um, he'll call again.
- No, no, no, because he counted to five
and I didn't pick up.
He's never gonna call again,
because I didn't pick up when he counted to five.
I completely ruined it. I've blown it.
- No, you know where he works! Go to the studio.
- I'm gonna go to the studio!
I've been there! They like me.
I'm gonna go to the studio, I'm gonna take a risk,
I'm just gonna dive in face first, so to speak.
I'm gonna do that. Okay, okay.
- Jordy! - What? I'm going to the studio.
- Put some clothes on first. - Yeah. Right.
Yes, okay. Jacket.
I found one. Okay, I'm gonna go,
I'm gonna go to the studio.
[Incoherent yelping]
All right, bye. - Bye!
She's in her pajamas. Oh, boy.
- [Whistles]
- Hey, I'm here to see Matt.
- Name, please. - Jordan Grady.
I'm Matt swift's wife.
- Yeah, Matt doesn't have a wife.
Okay? And no one gets on the lot without a drive-on.
- You don't remember me? You've let me on the lot before.
- Was your name on the list? - Yes.
- Well, is it on the list now?
- No, but he's-- - okay.
No one gets on the lot without a drive-on.
- Please, sir, have a heart.
My future happiness depends on me getting on this lot.
- My future employment depends on this list,
so turn it around.
- Jordan Grady, you could spend the entire day
sitting outside the studio,
just hoping he comes out the gate,
or you could go get him.
- I am always sneaking into places
and breaking rules for this guy.
- He is worth it.
He's a movie star, and he's amazing,
and he loves you.
- Okay, I'm going in.
- I'm in. - Okay.
Well, just-- just keep talking to me, okay?
But--but talk like you belong there,
like you're doing a big movie deal or something.
- And of course, um,
casting is a major stipulation in the green light process.
- Oh, "green light process,"
really good movie term usage.
- [Gasps] Oh, I think I've been spotted.
- Hey!
Hey, you! Come back here!
We have a 415 in front of stage two.
A young woman in weird pants and a weirder top.
I'm en route!
- Okay, i am being chased
by a studio rent-a-cop in a golf cart.
- I don't believe this.
You--you are-- you are likethe fugitive.
You are Harrison Ford!
[Tires screech] - Hey, watch out.
- Move it back. Let's go.
- I'm almost to Matt's trailer.
Um... [Knocking]
Hello? Matt?
[Tires screech]
Matt!
[Grunts] Hold it.
Don't move.
- I think I better go. I'll call you from jail, okay?
- Jail? Hel-- you're kidding, right?
Hello? Hello?
- Kerry, kerry, please help me. Um, can you get Matt?
- Oh, I'm sorry, Jordan. He left more than
half an hour ago.
- Oh, no, no. He--he can't be gone.
- Let me call him.
Okay, let's not go crazy here, guys.
- Hello?
- Studio security is not a joke.
It is here for the visitors
and the employees and their safety.
- Point taken.
There's no need to bring the real police into this.
Not that you're not real law enforcement,
because you so are.
- Just hold on--Matt will clear this whole thing up.
- Wait--just wait. Just wait, okay?
That hurts a little bit.
- Six days on one, and then I did--
- Matt!
- Jor--Jordan?
- Henry, what's going on?
- Well, Mr. swift, she was trespassing
on private property.
- I'm sorry.
Henry, she's on the list. She's on the permanent list.
You're just doing your job. I appreciate it.
Maybe next time, you just call me and double check.
- Yes, sir. Will do, sir. - All right.
Sorry. Henry!
The cuffs?
- Right, sir. - Wow.
What are you-- are you in your pajamas?
- It's a blazer and my pajamas and other stuff.
It's a--I've never done anything that crazy before.
- I happen to know that's not the case.
- Jordan, why are you here?
- I saw the interview. - Yeah?
And-- - and...
I want to be with you too.
- Look, this world gets really crazy.
Are you sure?
- You have to earn my trust back.
- [Laughs] I'm gonna make it up to you.
Even if it takes forever.
- It's kind of funny how we did things backwards.
First, marriage, then dating.
- Yeah, it's like our souls connected before we did.
- There's that movie dialogue again.
- I know. The writers are
so much more eloquent than me.
- I actually think they're pretty cheesy.
If you don't kiss me by the time I count to five--
- [laughs] - One...
- I wrote that. - Two...
4 3/4...
4 11/27--
- come on.
[Cheers and applause]
[Overlapping chatter]
- Congratulations!
- [Laughs]